Game of Thrones 8.6 – The Iron Throne

Ya girl, who loves a silly joke.

First, and first mostly. I’m so happy to have shared these 8 seasons and all of these years with you. I came Unsullied, and you kept me that way for almost a decade. If nothing else, that is a feat almost unheard of. You’ve been so kind to me, laughed with me, cried with me, and were kind when I got things wrong.

Thank you.

And if I may? I watched all of S8 this weekend, and… it works. It all works. Are there mistakes? Of course. Can’t be helped. The source material ended, and that’s that. This is what we have, I didn’t know the books, and while I know there were questionable choices, this is still one of the finest television shows in history, and we got to experience it.

Okay. Let’s do this. PREVIOUSLY!

I love the weight that having Tyrion creep through the destroyed city with that look on his face lends to, well, the sheer horror of it all.  Grey Worm is clearly holding everyone who supported Cersei personally responsible for Missandei’s death. There is no mercy to be found as he slits the surrendered Lannister soldiers’ throats. This, uh, this is gonna be a theme.

Question: how did Grey Worm beat Jon to the Red Keep? And the answer is: SPEEDWALKING. That’s how GW gets those lithe, lean thighs.

The shot of Dany walking out of the Red Keep with Drogon’s wings behind her was metal AF. Not metal: her losing the plot and moving on to TOTAL DOMINATION.

Dany: Let’s just keep going! Just keep killing!
Soldiers: Hooray!
Me: Jonestown Kool-Aid, DRUNK’D. So we’re like, cool with War Crimes, okeeee.
Tyrion: allow me to quote a country-western ditty when I say take this job and shove it.
Dany: (to soldiers) Take this half-man and shove him… into a cell.
Tyrion: Lacks rhythm.

I have to admit I laughed when Arya tells Jon, “I know a killer when I see one.” oH reAllY? Was it the ENTIRE CITY RAZED that gave you the clue? Great work, Inspector Clouseau!  (Not hating, just laughing.)

I loved the talk with Jon and Tyrion, we LITERALLY had that conversation in comments last week! (Everyone around the world did, tbh) Kit does a great job of showing that the whole world is on his shoulders. Just… weary. And the Throne Room is exactly like Dany’s vision…and she’ll end up with Drogo and their baby, too. JON. STABS. HER.

RAISE YOUR HAND IF DROGON SCARED THE HELL OUT OF YOU, coming up on Jon like that? The CGI was [chef fingers kiss]. And then his heartbreak over his mommy’s dead body…

Buffy voice: Mom? …Mommy?

DID. NOT. SEE. THAT COMING, Drogon melting the throne! Oh, I love it. Dragons made it, dragons undid it. If you had Drogon breaks the wheel on your pool, I hope you remember us little folks.

The real friends were the dragons who melted the symbols of imperialism along the way.

Okay, the time jumps ahead a few weeks and we have a “WHAT NOW?” council and ha! Bad Boob Sucker looks like a Byronic suitor now. We have Mr. Lannister Goes To Washington, democracy (of a fashion) is born, wait, no, they all laugh at Sam and ha.

Ha. Everyone doesn’t deserve a vote rings so very, very true to this liberal American gal right about now…

Tyrion noms Bran “the broken” (god, that feels so ableist and cruel to me) for King, everyone likes the idea, bur Sansa wants to know if he really will do it.

Bran: I DIDN’T ROLL MY ASS ALL THE WAY SOUTH TO TURN IT DOWN.
Sansa: …right. I forgot you’re living CCTV. Oh, by the way, throwing in my nation’s Independence, whaaaaat?
Me: IT’S ALL I EVER WANTED FOR YOU, MY QUEEN.
Bran: And Tyrion will be my Hand. Sucks to be you, I’m literally punishing you by giving you a politician’s job FOR LIFE.
Grey Worm: Harsh. We accept these terms. On one condition.

[It’s Always Sunny theme song]

HE CAN BE WITH GJÖDKR AND GHOST! I love Tyrion saying, “No one was happy, so it’s a good compromise.” And Jon, it was right. I do like that we’re reminded that killing someone SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. Because… yeah.

I’m sure people are going to be mad that the Starks aren’t living together at Winterfell forever and ever, but it’s not possible. It wasn’t anything they imagined, either. The girls would have been married off, the boys off to their own holds/keeps, and Jon at the Wall. So… I’m okay with all of this.

OKAY BRIENNE FILLING OUT JAIME’S PAGE… AND HOLDING BACK TEARS…

(But real talk? How the hell did that book survive the Dragoning??)

Good on Tyrion for following through with Bronn. A Lannister pays his debts! And now Bronn can pay them for Tyrion as Master of Coin! Hahaha. I could get behind a blooper reel of him and Davos riffing and ripping into each other. Samwell Red Leader Porkins Gamgee Tarley wins the pot on “longest wait for a name drop ever” spot with the book about what’s happened.

Hope y’all know that’s the closest you’re getting to more books! [ducks]

And pardon me while I laugh forever at Tyrion being Ser Not Appearing in this Book by not getting so much as a mention. Not even a NICKEL for the subway. But we were blessed with a beaming Podrick Payne as a Kingsguard, and I’m just so happy. So, so happy.

WAIT I AM HAPPIER, BECAUSE TORMUND IS AT THE WALL WAITING FOR HIS BEST BUDDY. AND SO IS GHOST. [sobbing]

The scene with Jon, Arya and Sansa prepping for their new lives was gorgeous. GOR-GEOUS. They’re all where they should be, they all have hope, THE STARK CHILDREN HAVE HOPE AND REASON TO REMAIN HOPEFUL.

I don’t know about you, but that’s beautiful.

Things I loved:

  • the Stark sigil on the ship
  • Ghost
  • the Wildlings happy to see Jon
  • learning the theme has MUSIC

Remaining questions:

  • why was Ghost dirty?
  • what did you love?
  • how hard is it going to be if you’re a hater to hold your tongue?
  • (ha)

IT’S OVER. It’s… over. Sound off below, my friends. (And if you’re coming to Con of Thrones this July, come find me and say hello! I’ll be leading a few panels and sitting on a few others, and I’m going to be VERY EMOTIONAL, I’m sure.)

And now, my watch has ended. ?