You’re not going to believe this, but I just had this very bizarre dream, and you were in it!
The Doctor and Martha narrowly escape villains chasing them with stolen Time Agent technology. “They’re never going to stop,” following him. “Unless…” “Do you trust me?” the Doctor asks Martha urgently, adding, “Because it all depends on you.” PRESSURE MUCH? There’s this watch, see, and —
The Doctor wakes in an old-fashioned bedroom. Martha enters in maid’s garb (what?). She apologizes for entering precipitously, calling him John Smith (what what?). No worries: he’s just had another extraordinary dream, in which he’s the “daredevil” “madman”, the Doctor. This time, in 2007, Martha was his companion. What d’ye talk, Martha scoffs: it’s 1913, and he’s as human as they come (what what WHAT?)!
TARDIS frequent flier membership has its privileges!
Doctor, I love you! But we only have fourteen minutes to save the Earth! Well, forty-two minutes, actually. Hence the title. And we’re not saving the Earth so much as a cargo ship and its sweaty cranky crew members from crashing into a sun. STILL! Continue reading
The Doctor and Martha make it a family affair.
The Doctor makes a perfect landing in a tight spot. “You should be used to tight spots by now,” says Martha and oh. Oh ho! Sure, Doctor Who‘s totally a children’s show. Right. Wait, they’re back twelve hours after she left. “But all the stuff we’ve done! Shakespeare, New New York, old New York?” Martha asks. That, my friends, is without a doubt the most jam-packed one-night stand of which I’ve heard tell!
And no, I’m not going to stop with the wink-nudge jokes, because there THESE WRITE THEMSELVES with material the ep hands over on a sexy, saucy platter! Just watch! Continue reading
The Doctor and Martha take on the scariest Dalek of them all: the Empire State Building!
The Doctor plays himself in with “Happy Days Are Here Again”, calling, “Hello. Surprise. Boo. Etcetera.” Aww, when did the magic go out of these Time Lord/Dalek reunions, Doctor? Sec now “feels humanity”, but it’s all bad: he calls humans “so very Dalek” for their hatred and “genius for war.” Fuming, the Doctor pumps up the volume: the radio’s feedback hurts the Daleks, Pigmen, and vulnerable Sec. As the Daleks shriek, “Protect!” and surround their hybrid, the Doctor leads the escape of the captured humans. Continue reading
The Doctor, Martha, and Spider-Man plan a post-Dalek threesome.
Backstage at a musical revue, sassy chorus girls yell to Tallulah to quit pawing at her stagehand boyfriend so they can All That Jazz the audience. Tallulah’s a gangster-moll-accent ditz with heart. Laszlo wants to bring her home for Sunday dinner, and gives her white roses. Clearly he wants to rescue her from her hardscrabble burlesque life for a Somewhere That’s Green place in Jersey. So. Laszlo’s pretty much marked for death. Continue reading
The Doctor vows to clean up this New New York!
A couple straight out of Grant Wood’s American Gothic drives their van, watching a cheery video traffic report about carjackings. Where are they, Detroit? When something claws at their vehicle, Ma yells at Pa; he lied about having three passengers. Pa’s frantic calls to the police only reach a recording; they’re placed on hold. Screaming, sparks, and smoke fill the van. “Missing you already,” the traffic reporter signs off.
The Doctor takes Martha to see Shakespeare, and refuses to Sonic Screwdriver for the fancy-schmancy seats!
In Ye Olde England (shh, it’s an historical term), a young swain serenades his love, Lilith. She invites him upstairs; time to get lucky without those pesky baans of marriage, awww forsooooth! But once he’s upstairs, wouldn’t you know she turns into a sharp-toothed hag with two crones for moms? The crones set on the poor guy, and icky sounds follow. The Loathsome Ladies vow to make Earth perish with “woven words” and cackle madly.
Feel how my two hearts beat for you, baby!
Martha Jones, a young woman whose meddling family has obviously elected her Chief Mediator, answers multiple calls while walking to work. The brouhaha isn’t unusual (a party, dad bringing his girlfriend, everyone up in arms). But a strange man who accosts her saying, “Right, so, you see?” and brandishing his undone tie is. The Doctor does Crazy Man on the Street so well! He makes the creepy and unfriendly head-to-toe leather-clad motorcycle messenger who nearly knocks Martha over seem like a normal bloke.
The Doctor’s intimacy issues writ large: cue the wedding bells!
A wide-view of Earth zooms to focus on a bride walking down the aisle. As she approaches the groom, we see she’s positively radiant: glowing, if you will! Oh dear, perhaps that’s a dangerous sort of glow. She screams, turning into light particles that zip away and re-form in the TARDIS so she can yell, “What the hell is this place?” Feisty!
3-D Specs Doctor — he ain’t ‘fraid ‘a no ghosts!
For nineteen years, Rose’s voiceover says, “nothing happened. Nothing at all, not ever.” Flashback to meeting Nine (oh, Nine!), and sharing “the whole of time and space” with the Doctor (montaging through moments with Ten). She thought she’d stay with him forever, but then came the Army of Ghosts, Torchwood, and the War. “This is the story of how I died.” Now. We’ve had some grim openers, but *huddles under blankets*