Amy and the Doctor read ahead, despite trying to avoid endings.
New York: the city of a million stories, or the city of A MILLION EVIL STATUES? Let’s say both as we open in a classic noir vein, the steady thump of typewriter keying accompanying a sardonic voice over! Detective Garner takes a job investigating “living statues that moved in the dark,” because that is sure to end well!
The Doctor and Amy ponder the Cubes, while Rory wonders why the Doctor always gets the middle seat.
“Life with the Doctor,” Amy Pond says, was like this: whoosh-whoosh! Quick cut montage of scary moments and fantastic sights! Real life? Sorting smelly laundry and shrieking at the yoghurt that’s gone off. You can’t blame the Ponds for finding Doctor Life so enticing, though clearly Real Life might become less stinky, literally and metaphorically, without all those Doctor Life jaunts and absences.
Just as they agree they’ll soon choose which life they most want, something unexpected occurs: the Doctor comes to stay during the year of the Slow Invasion. Will the Doctor handle the distinct-lack-of-peril Pond Life with good grace? Will the Ponds throw him out in frustration like so much bad yoghurt? And really, what are all these small black boxes doing everywhere? Continue reading
Amy, Rory, and the Doctor take on a new frontier. Also, a town called Mercy needs a GINORMOUS BANK for its 81 residents!
Under the dark of night, a man desperately tries to escape a massive cyborg, whose screen reads “Exterminate.” Make peace with your gods, puny non-cyborg man! “Once they were your gods, too,” he gasps. The cyborg’s programming identifies his distinctive tattoo. “Am I the last?” the man asks. “There is one more,” a distorted mechanized voice replies. “The Doctor.” Continue reading
Things Rory’s Dad Is Good At: Fixing Lights. Digging. BALLS.
1334 BC: The Doctor gets a Psychic Paper signal while trying to fend off amorous Queen Nefertiti. Naturally saving her people gets her hot, so she tags along with him to ISA in 2367 (Indian Space Agency: I’m fascinated by a “protect the Earth at all costs!” agency that’s not U.N.I.T.!). ISA’s spotted a space ship “the size of Canada”. When it gets close to Earth, ISA is going to missile the hell out of it. “I liked you before you said missiles,” the Doctor says wistfully.
Y’all gonna make me lose my mind, up in here! Up in here!
On the scorched home planet of the Daleks, Skaro, the Doctor meets Darla, who urges him to rescue her daughter from the same Dalek prison camp she herself escaped. Impossible, the Doctor realizes: no one escapes the Daleks. She’s so converted, and she don’t even know it! Uh, that is, she’s a sleeper agent for the Daleks, cripes! Her human form springs Dalek parts, and “The Doctor is acquired!” she intones in creepy shrill Dalek-speak, and boo-yah, we’re off on a whole new series of Doctor Who!