Tag Archives: history

Vikings 1.08 & 1.09

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Vikings airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on The History Channel

PREVIOUSLY, ON VIKINGS: Ragnar invited King Aella’s unending hatred by murdering his brother, and Lagertha miscarried. That’s it.

Okay, full disclosure! This is an email I sent to Laura on April 23:

OKAY AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED I HAVE NOT FINISHED THE VIKINGS RECAP YET BUT. I have a problem. This past episode made me so fucking angry with every aspect of it that I know I definitely can’t be funny about it, and probably can’t even be impartial and do a dry basic “this is what happened” recap (which nobody would want to read anyway). It’s like they took everything I loved about the show and fucked it up in every possible direction and I don’t know what to do! I’ve been trying to write it for like two days, and I’m just so frustrated with it that I keep stopping. I know HDJM is supposed to be positive but I genuinely didn’t enjoy a single thing about the episode. WAT DO I DO HOW DO I WRITE ABOUT IT OMG. :(

At that point I also had what I can only assume was machupo, so I figured that maybe by the finale A) I would be better and B) so would the show. MAIS NON. Something terrible happened between episode seven and episode eight that turned a previously literally perfect show into a hideously-paced mess of destroyed characterization and nonsensical plotting. Laura emailed me back pretending to be Oprah and gave me a special dispensation to “write my truth,” so it’s gonna get complainy in here. I FULLY UNDERSTAND IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ FURTHER AS THIS WILL NOT BE A RECAP AND WILL PROBABLY NOT BE FUNNY. Just for completion’s sake, I wanted to put this down–because I did really adore this show, and will maintain that the first six episodes are worth it all on their own. Its downhill journey was just so fast and so furious that the only explanation is darck magicks.

The only other show I’ve ever felt like this about was Community, but that show had 3 seasons to make me fall in love with it and there was a discernible reason for why I can’t stand it now. I was sold on Vikings after the first episode, and I seriously have no idea how this disaster happened.

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Vikings 1.07: A King’s Ransom

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Vikings airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on The History Channel

PREVIOUSLY, ON VIKINGS: Ragnar killed Haraldson in the holmgang and became the new earl; Lagertha is pregnant; Rollo is schemey.

(This is going to be shorter than normal/more of a review because a bunch of junk came up at one time in real life.)

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Vikings 1.06: Burial of the Dead

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Vikings airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on The History Channel

PREVIOUSLY, ON VIKINGS:

Ragnar’s village got murdered by Haraldson’s men as revenge for…what, we are still not certain. Ragnar sustained some serious injuries, so Lagertha moved the whole family in with Floki. Haraldson tortured Rollo for not giving up Ragnar’s location, which prompts Ragnar to send Floki to challenge Haraldson to one-on-one combat.

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Vikings 1.05: Raid

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Vikings airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on The History Channel

Apologies for the lateness! I was doin’ stuff, Lori. Thaaangs. (Actually I was fishing with my dad.)

PREVIOUSLY, ON VIKINGS:

Ragnar got put on trial, but won his case in about 14 seconds because Rollo stepped up and was actually decent. Unfortunately, they’re attacked by assassins who manage to kill Erik. Then Ragnar sits on a cliff a lot.

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Vikings 1.04: Trial

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Vikings airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on The History Channel

PREVIOUSLY, ON VIKINGS: Cutest sexual harassment EVER, plus the vikings–Lagertha included this time–made it to Northumbria and Floki started a war accidentally (on purpose).

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Vikings 1.02: Wrath of the Northmen

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Vikings airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on The History Channel

PREVIOUSLY, ON VIKINGS: We learned that if you must attend a wrongful beheading, wear cute-ass headbands; don’t interrupt Earl Haraldson’s dinner with your “ideas” and “questions”; if you see crows and old dudes in hats everywhere it’s not something to worry about; you can probably get a crazy dude to build a rad boat for you for like, really cheap; if you try to rape a Viking, she will make your face look like the insurance photos of an industrial mishap; and don’t trust your brother.

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