Alexa: beer me strength.
WHO’S READY? I have my wine open, my laptop precariously placed on my lap, and I’m going to write this AS IT AIRS. What could go wrong?
…Alexa: Prime me some wine stain remover. [Preemptive move.]
AND NOW MY WATCH BEGINS. Continue reading
Me watching each week:
I would like to remind all that I love Tormund Giantsbane, aka Gjödkr the Bær Fücker with all my heart. And I thought I wanted something, but when it happened… Well. Gah.
IF YOU ARE NEW HERE: I am Unsullied. I know, preposterous, right? And yet! No book talk. None. Plenty of show to talk about, so you. Are. Good! ANd how fun is it to watch me get things wrongs? SO FUN. To the episode! Let’s press on.
Previously! War, incest, death, Gendry rowing in a boat….
OH HO HO, I SPY A GENDRY IN THE OPENING CREDITS… [readies second bottle of wine] OH SHIT EASTWATCH IS IN THE CREDITS TOO???
Let’s get real: [readies third bottle of wine]
…kidding. Unless you got a spare liver for me?
PREVIOUSLY! OH HEY ANYTHING GOOD ON TV RECENTLY? I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I’M STUCK IN CAPSLOCK I’M JUST SOOOOOO
Oh, whoops. I actually had the capslock button engaged on my laptop, sorry for that. Ahem. Hi! So… pretty boring intro for the season, right?
THAT IS A DIRTY DAMN LIE, THE DIRTIEST I EVER TOLD. Ooooooh my gosh, you guys, I have been waiting for this show! And you! And it’s been 84 years since Cersei blew up half the damn city because she is the worst, most petulant mother-in-law in history, and I’m just so overcome right now to have more story?
Aaaaand consider this your obligatory reminder that I am Unsullied. I have not read the books, I have promised not to read the books until the show is over, I’m incredibly Spoiler-Phobic (waves a hello to new readers I met at Con of Thrones) and I will not brook book discussion on this site. Really wanting to split hairs about that sort of thing? I highly recommend my pals at Watchers On The Wall for that. But here, talk about the SHOW ONLY, and keep it to aired episodes. Please and thank you, A Girl has No Chill. [forehead kisses] Continue reading
[Previously!] Jon was reborn through the Army-Vag, Sansa took care of business, Bolton died a fitting death, Dany and Yara eye-boned like the world wasn’t coming to an end, Cersei creeped closer to losing her gott-damn mind, and Arya got out of her promise to the House of Black and White. I think. Yeah? Yeah.
The moment we’ve been waiting all season for! Well, kind of. We all kind of remember Loras, right? Erm…
AND NOW… [crams fists against mouth] JUST CLICK. (Remember: I AM UNSULLIED. NO BOOK TALK. I have also been waterboarded by Cersei’s wine glass it seems…)