ME. YOU. EVERYONE WHO WATCHED THIS EPISODE, PROBABLY.
Hey! So things you should know about me today: I’ve been drinking since 6pm and I roasted a chicken in honor of the Hound and Gjördkr the Chîcken Eåter, aka Gjördkr the Bær Fuçkër, aka Tormund the Wildling. I’m very stressed. I’m writing this as I watch. Here we go.
Edited after watching: OH MY GOD. Oh my god, the old and the new gods. The small and mighty gods. FROM THE TITANS TO BASICALLY, CEREON, the Greek God of mixing wine. ALL OF THE GODS, I CALL UNTO YOU.
So, all of y’all complaining about pacing and ambling storytelling and… [blasts “HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW” on 11]
Someone, light the fires to call Gondor, because SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
Previously! LOADS. Most of it awful. Whee!!
“All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces…”
But first! We open with horsies being prepped for a trip up north.Gjördkr the Bær Fuçkër is released from his restraints, and the men of the Watch don’t like it. But then, most of them don’t like any of Jon Snow’s decisions.
Lord Butt Hurt: A word, Lord Commander? About this plan of yours with the Wildling?
Jon: Of course, trusted fellow Man of the Black Watch. Please, continue.
LBH: [farts into hand, shoves it in Jon’s face]
Jon: …yes, thank you. [looks to camera like its The Office] Continue reading
First off, I want to thank Super Reader Tran for the generous donation to keep the website going! We have our yearly bill coming up, so it was timely and very appreciated. THANK YOU!
But back to GoT… Previously! My daughter just saw the Harpy on the Merreen pyramid and said, “Boob eagle!” So in my head, that’s what I’m calling them from now on. Look, you understand religion in your way, let me understand it in mine. Interesting to note that only one of the Westeros religions praises sex while the others condemn it. But I’m getting ahead of myself…
A LOT happened this episode, and if you don’t think these first four eps are the tightest the of the show’s history, then:
HOW VERY DARE YOU
ETA: And as always, be sure to read through our AWESOME, SPOILER FREE comments section, where some of the liveliest convos are happening. (I have a few theories about Specific Name Dropping in them, for example!)
Previously! Can I just say that from a writing/story-telling perspective, this season just might be the tightest? The flawless transitions from character to country and back again, moving all around the globe to tell a cohesive, forward-moving narrative is outstanding. And again, I’m not a book reader, this ain’t the place for book talk, so from an “I only know what I see onscreen each week” perspective, I’m seriously loving season five. (Reminder I’m Unsullied, please please leave book talk to other websites please and thank you and forehead kisses.)
Our little Cinder earning her keep.
And my hat’s off to the set designers, both physical and CGI because damn. We lead off with a beautiful opening shot of a dank room lined with statues of the old kings? The old sigils? Was that a lion’s head? A drowned man, oh, I recognize the weirwood god… And a fire burns within a stone heart. (Same. That would be my House’s sigil. Ha, I’m kidding, it would be a hand grasping for a mostly empty wine bottle, obv.) Continue reading
Previously! Thought before we get into it: someone somewhere mentioned that Podrick had shown proficiency with regards to knowing banners, sigils, etc, so why on earth didn’t he notice House Tully passing? My guess, but I couldn’t make it out on my giant-ass tv screen for certain, is that the sigil waving on those flags was Littlefinger’s newly chosen sigil: the Mockingbird. Podrick wouldn’t know about it. Thoughts? Well, save them until the end, we have VERY IMPORTANT STUFF to talk about first!
A MAN needs some chapstick.
Like how Braavos steampunk-moustrap was back on the map! And it’s because Arya is finally entering the city! (Love the lore about the Titan coming to life and smashing enemies in days of old. I’m going to love these books when I finally get to read them, aren’t I?) And hey, there’s your reminder that I am UNSULLIED. Do not—I beg of you—discuss the books here, neither overt nor veiled. Be cool. Literally the rest of the internet is for you book readers. But down here, it’s our [non-reader] time. It’s our time down here. [Obligatory Goonies reference] Continue reading