Previously! Thought before we get into it: someone somewhere mentioned that Podrick had shown proficiency with regards to knowing banners, sigils, etc, so why on earth didn’t he notice House Tully passing? My guess, but I couldn’t make it out on my giant-ass tv screen for certain, is that the sigil waving on those flags was Littlefinger’s newly chosen sigil: the Mockingbird. Podrick wouldn’t know about it. Thoughts? Well, save them until the end, we have VERY IMPORTANT STUFF to talk about first!
A MAN needs some chapstick.
Like how Braavos steampunk-moustrap was back on the map! And it’s because Arya is finally entering the city! (Love the lore about the Titan coming to life and smashing enemies in days of old. I’m going to love these books when I finally get to read them, aren’t I?) And hey, there’s your reminder that I am UNSULLIED. Do not—I beg of you—discuss the books here, neither overt nor veiled. Be cool. Literally the rest of the internet is for you book readers. But down here, it’s our [non-reader] time. It’s our time down here. [Obligatory Goonies reference] Continue reading
Arya Stark, winner of the Most Grizzled Player award
[Previously.] I AM COMPLETELY SATISFIED. Hunnert percent. If you wanna complain about that season ender, you can go find elsewhere, because I am dancing around in my house with my hands on my cheeks, blown away. My husband has a bruise on his arm from me slapping it and saying, “Oh my god!” I can officially say that I had no frakkin’ idea that like, most of that would happen. EXCEPT. I totally called one thing, and I cannot believe I was right.
I know nothing about the books, as you all should know, so for me, an Unsullied, this was a great wrap up leaving me excited for Season Five. GAH, keeping spoilers from above the cut is making me crazy, let’s get to it. Continue reading
Previously! In this episode: Tyrion has a joke that flops, Melisandre tries a joke that also fails, but Lord Freaking Petyr Baelish gets the last damn laugh.
Papa can you hear meeeee? [gross sobbing with love for Sansa Stark]
First, it has to be said: Oberyn Martell can get it. By “it” I mean me. SPOILERS START HERE
. Hey remember how I was all excited about how we realized just how dangerous Baelish is? Remember how freaked out I was by Lysa and wanted her and Bad Boob Sucker Robin to take a trip through the Moon Door? REMEMBER THOSE DAYS? [Why wasn’t the Eyrie in the damn opening map??] Continue reading
Previously! Okay, that was a lie. Right? That wasn’t an hour? THAT WAS NOT AN HOUR. The first person who complains about this episode being filler gets my boot to the nethers.
It’s a little LoTR, but I don’t care. This is BEAUTIFUL. Legit shivers over this.
If I was going to sum up my reactions, it would have been excitement over a new place on our opening map, exclamations at the cool shots of Braavos, and a lot of crying over Tyrion—seriously, that brought me to tears—and a wonder at why all of my favorite “warnings” were listed when it was just tits in a hot tub? Pfft. I CALL THAT A TUESDAY, OKAY? Also, dibs on the band name “Tits in a Hot Tub.” OH MY GOD. I JUST REMEMBERED RAMSAY. Riiiiight. Tits on a Ramsay. Reek! JFC, click the link and let’s talk because I need you. Continue reading
Before we dive in, am I the only one both extremely excited and desperately nervous about Lindelof having another show? That final season of Lost still haunts me, gang. But The Leftovers: that is my JAM. (Long time readers know I’m all about the End Times/Apocalypse stuff.) BUT HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT GAME OF THRONES? [Last week, filled with amazing discussion about That Scene and more.]
I *hiss* ship it. SH-SHIP IT REAL GOOD
Reminder that I’m Unsullied, always Unsullied. (Before Unsullied: nothing.) So…there was a moment in this episode that someone TOTALLY gave away in comments two eps back, and that’s not cool. Please. PLEASE: do not lace your comments with hints of what us non-readers should be looking for, because that’s a spoiler, okay? You LITERALLY have the rest of the internet to talk about this, as you Readers are Legion. Be a dude, don’t be a dick, okay? Continue reading
WOW. So…we’re gonna have a serious talk amongst the laughing and the joy and the joyness and the shock, m’kay?
MALE WRITERS WHO DO THE THING: THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU.
[Previously] And holy smokes, so much happened in this episode. This is the problem with writing 800+ page books and turning those 800 page books into one season of TV. You have to cram loads into each episode. (I mean, I love it because I want to absorb every detail of this world, but it’s a lot.)
Hey new folks! Welcome! I love each and every one of you. And please note that I am NOT a book reader. I have sworn a sacred oath at the Wall (my bookshelf) to stay pristine and Unsullied. DO NOT RUIN THIS FOR ME. *forehead smooch*
Oh, was this show coming back? I almost forgot about it.
! Blood! Mayhem! My learning the most valuable lesson of all: if you love it, it will be brutally murdered in front of your face.
Good lesson, that. Wow, does the Red Wedding still hurt. *pounds chest* Also, the show’s “Previously” led seamlessly into a bee-you-tea-ful moment with a certain someone’s broadsword. [Player Ned Stark has entered the Game!] Continue reading
(Last episode, before my heart was destroyed.) GUYS WHAT. WHAT. What. WHAT?!! Hey, I asked you a question. I ASKED YOU WHAAAAAT ON EARTH DID I JUST WATCH?! WHAT DID THEY DO TO MEEEEEEEE? Accurate depiction of me during the last ten minutes of the episode:
Arya is waiting to smash in non-believers faces.
Previously! This week…guys, I can’t even. I have lost the ability to even with this show. How does it get better every week? If you were meh about this episode, then I want you to sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done. When you can say you’re sorry, I’ll forgive you.
Also, there was literal nail biting from me while watching, and it was mostly centered around what was going to happen to
gloriously shirtless Gendry. Continue reading
Oh, so NOW you don’t want to be Daddy’s Girl, Cersei?
PREVIOUSLY. There are no signs of this show slowing down. If Game of Thrones were a mathematical equation, it would be y = x * 6reanimations/3baby jars + 1 Khaleesi to the 3rd power of Dragon (which we all know is a rational numerical representation of awesome).
OBLIGATORY REMINDER: I am NOT a book reader. If it’s not made to be important on the show (for a non-book reader) then I might not know all the nuances that a book reader would. Please keep in mind that book readers are aware of tiny details that we show-watchers aren’t. Don’t be shady, be a lady. (aka: Don’t be a pedant, even if someone is Wrong On The Internet.) Continue reading