Tag Archives: Lisa Vanderpump

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 3.1 – Down and Out in Beverly Hills

I just wish they put a little effort into their appearance, you know? You’re getting a PICTURE taken ffs.

Last season on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills there were mermaids! Weddings! Bickering! And what will sum up this new season, I believe: “If you can’t be my friend, then please don’t be my enemy!”

Yeah, I bet they’re all enemies by the end of this. (And oh my god, if $25,000 isn’t on this season, I will call shenanigans and demand a rematch. She would be amazing to watch with the new wife, Yolanda.) Continue reading

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills-The Reunion Pt.1

Even Andy is giving Adrienne the stink eye.

Well things got ugly behind scenes, and I’m not talking about Kim’s boyfriend Ken. BOOM. Speaking of, Kim isn’t here for the reunion as she (smartly) checked herself into rehab in December for alcohol, and I truly wish her the best. Pull it together, Escape From Witch Mountain! (Kyle says right up front that she won’t discuss Kim’s rehab.)

But what I want to talk about is how everyone is a total jerkface to my spirit animal, Lisa Vanderpump. Let’s get ready to rumble! Continue reading

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2.19 – Real Wedding of Beverly Hills

First Rule of Weddings: never wear a tiara larger than the Bride's.

It’s here, it’s here! Bobby Trendy’s, I mean, Pandora Vanderpump’s wedding! And if that isn’t a bodice ripper of a name, I don’t know what is. (Oh, and Russell killed himself by this point, BUT WEDDINGS, YAY!) * tugs collar*

It’s the day before The Big Day and Lisa is flying about the grounds as everything is being set up. And Kevin (aka Bobby Trendy) is out of the country. Oh, he’ll be back an hour before the ceremony to say “Chi-chi-chi” and wear his Bruce Lee sunglasses, don’t worry.  Continue reading

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2.18 – Night of a Thousand Surprises

The Return of Cedric. Look at this smug bastard!

Kyle and her daughter are getting gussied up for Lisa’s Grand Opening. Well, her restaurant SUR’s grand opening. There is no vivisection in this episode. (Although I’d like to volunteer Gollum-Ken.)  Continue reading

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2.17- A Day Late An Apology Short

The one where Kyle just can't let it go.

Okay, so like, the last time we saw 90210 they were on their Senior Class Trip to Hawaii where Kim brought her skeevy boyfriend that is in like, auto shop or something gross (we only talk to her because she’s Kyle’s sister, you know?) And Brandi and Camille were saying “Les-be-friends” with hip grindage and Taylor was all, “I’m totally breaking up with my creepy guy. No, for realsies this time.”

And I realized something: Kyle and Lisa are Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield (Sorry, Kim is Enid, the ugly fringe friend) and Camille is Lila Fowler. Where’s her lime green Triumph? Sorry, off track. Back to Hawaii!

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2.16 – Lies, Leis and Lanai

By the grace of Zohar, they will survive this flight!

So, like, remember how Russell totally ruined everyone’s prom by existing? And breathing his open mouth cooties all over an email to Camille so, like, the whole gang was super mad at him and stuff? And they kicked Taylor and Russell out of prom because it’s our Senior Year, you guys. This is supposed to The Year, okay? This is our time our time. And yes, I just quoted Goonies. Because Goonies never die.

…I guess Russell wasn’t a Goonie. (I know. I’m going to hell. I know.)

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2.15 – Uninvited

Kim: before she goes ghetto.

This episode marks the next to the last time that I will have to endure Camille’s horribly delivered tagline, “Diamonds aren’t a girl’s best friend, DD is!” She says freedom, but she should have said DD. (DD tried to put it in her contract.)

So, I finally realized that this show is what 90210 thought it could be. Continue reading

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2.14 – Book, Bachelorette and a Breakdown

This woman is flawless. Also, her hips don't lie.

It’s the Penultimate Episode!

Remember last week when Friend For Hire DD went bananas, spoiling for a fight?  Camille is going to punish her for it this week.  Also, Dana returns with the most obnoxious bragging moment ever.  Dear Bravo: please feature more of those two trainwrecks.  Love, Me. Continue reading

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2.12 – Adrienne’s Fashion Show

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to cut this short." (there's a daaaark joke there, if you're willing to see it.)

Jumping right in this week! Lisa meets Pandora at home where Bobby Trendy is there to force Lisa into a million dollar wedding. They chose the shirt box invites, but they’re made for Pandora in white silk roses with a pale pink satin ribbon and rhinestones on the outside, and when you open it, the invitation is there with rose petals. Tres expensive. I mean, elegant.  Continue reading

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2.10 Tempest in a Tea Party

Lisa is simply too funny and charming to be the Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan , no matter how much the editors want me to think it. Also, Lisa would never wear a jeweled turban.

Hey, who’s ready to talk about a dead guy? Everyone involved in this show. But Russell does get a little defense, and Taylor is going a little bananas so that evens it out? Also the Bickersons return!

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