Tag Archives: magic-protecto ring

The Vampire Diaries 3.21 – Before Sunset

To err is human, to forgive, vampire.

Oh, Stefan. Klaus still loves you. So much! Even after all the abuse he put you through, and all the times he threatened to kill you and your loved ones, anyone can see that he just wants you to be happy. He’s giving you permission to work out your feelings for Damon! He’s being so magnanimous! Hasn’t he suffered long enough? You really should take him back.

Can you say “irony,” Stefan?  Continue reading

The Vampire Diaries 3.20 – Do Not Go Gentle

And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

And so we enter the final arc of the season. Only three episodes left, and in this one, there’s a lot of body-jacking going on. Sadly that’s not nearly as dirty as it sounds. Continue reading

The Vampire Diaries 3.19 – Heart of Darkness

The nightmare of Elena's choice, or the dream of mine? Maybe both.

What darkness lies in the hearts of humans, vampires, and dopplegangers? Everyone takes a deep dive into theirs this week. And while Delena fans may whoop with joy at the riches they find buried in the dark, fans of Stefan/Elena can be heard all over the internet moaning, “The horror! The horror!” Continue reading

The Vampire Diaries 3.18 – The Murder of One

Faithful readers of Hey, Don’t Judge Me will be familiar with our awesome chief editor–actress, writer, and recapper extraordinaire, Laura Stone. Laura co-starred in a little comedy horror movie a few years back called Blood on the Highway, which killed at film festivals across the U.S. Well, the latest episode of The Vampire Diaries opens with a rock montage of Damon, Stefan, and Alaric carving stakes from the white oak tree—and with me laughing my ass off, because it looks and sounds an awful lot like this:

Those are Laura’s fake fingernails carving that stake. And apparently her technique is better than Damon’s, because Stefan tells him, “We finally have a stake that can kill an Original. I’m not gonna miss because you can’t whittle.” Continue reading

The Vampire Diaries 3.17 – Break On Through

Stefan breaks through a bathroom door only to find Jim Morrison dead in the tub.

“You know the day destroys the night; night divides the day.” The title of this episode makes me think of that song by The Doors, which then makes me think about Krusty the Klown singing it on his anniversary special. “What was I on?” Krusty ponders, and I bet it wasn’t blood. Continue reading

The Vampire Diaries 3.16 – 1912

Watch out, Stefan, Damon has a crow hidden under that hat.

Hooray, it’s the return of the vampires! Let us all celebrate with the dance of Endus Hiatus. When last we left our heroes, I finished my recap with the rhetorical question, “How many times must a man fall dead, before they call him a man?” I guess my question should have been, “How many times must a man fall dead, before they call him a crazy man?” It looks like Alaric is about to find out. Continue reading