Tag Archives: Martin Freeman

Movie Recap: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

 

you're invited

DWARF PARTY

(The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is in theaters now.)

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey has been a long time coming. Like a thousand years? Probably that long. The Lord of the Rings films came out when I was in middle school, and as a result, I read all the books plus The Hobbit. The Hobbit was the only one I liked, as it was written on a sixth-grade level and also had a dragon, which to this day are the only ways you can get me to read a book.

However, I remember precisely zero percent of the book, so going into this movie was like going in completely blind (what’s a hobbit???). And it worked out for the best, I think. I wasn’t expecting anything, so I didn’t have a chance to be disappointed. I advise all potential viewers to pick fights in bars until someone punches all memory of the book from your brain, so you can enjoy the film without getting agitated about what is or isn’t there. Keep in mind that there are going to be three of these suckers, so there will be a lot of things that are/aren’t there.

Overall, I really enjoyed the movie. It had all the heartrending, breathtaking New Zealand scenery, frantic battle scenes, and gentle humor of the Lord of the Rings movies we loved, but with new faces. And whatever that framerate thing was all about. I didn’t notice a difference except during the fighting, and even then, it wasn’t that remarkable.

LET US PROCEED.

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Sherlock BBC 2.3 – The Reichenbach Fall

Angst in his otterface.

You’ll snarl. Shriek. You’ll erupt in tears and other effluvia, and then you’ll hunt down all acquaintances to ask BUT HOW? Welcome to the Reichenbach Fall, the episode of episodes, and Sherlock Holmes’s Final Problem.

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Sherlock BBC 2.2 – The Hounds of Baskerville

This week, they learn about dogging.

Welcome to the World of Gatiss. Just as an episode from Moffat means feisty women and spoddy whizzkids, so from a Mark Gatiss episode of Sherlock, we can reasonably expect dead daddies, suspicious offal, and Kensington gore. In this case, served up with devilish humour and abundant references to Withnail and I. Onwards: for science, UST, and daddy issues!

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Sherlock BBC 2.1 – A Scandal In Belgravia

Otter and Everyman.

Sherlock! Series 2, Episode 1! Starring Benedict Cumberbatch as the nation’s favourite sociopath, Martin Freeman as the nation’s favourite Martin Freeman, and Lara Pulver as the nation’s favourite crop-wielding, naked dominatrix. Yes, it’s “A Scandal In Belgravia,” or No Sex Please, We’re Sherlock. Are you excited? Would it help if Lara Pulver whipped you? Let’s go. Continue reading

Sherlock BBC 1.01 – A Study in Pink

Dr. John Watson is a troubled man. He dreams of both the battles and men he’s lost, and they’re not nice dreams. You might even say he’s like a hobbit, unable to forget the giant spiders who chase him still. Oh, be quiet. You knew I was going to have to make a hobbit joke eventually. Just be glad it was in the very first paragraph.

Anyway, even though John Watson (Martin Freeman, future Bilbo, no relation to Morgan or Gordon) is home from the war, he’s still on the front lines in his shattered psyche. We see him jerk awake from his nightmares, dissolving into tears, trapped in the bloody past. The man’s a right mess, is what I’m saying. He lives alone in a tiny apartment with nothing for company but his cane (for his war injury) and his pistol (for his inevitable messy suicide). His therapist is trying to help him out of the abyss, encouraging him to start a blog so he can write down what happens to him to make some kind of sense of it. He stares at her with dead, dead eyes. “Nothing ever happens to me,” he says flatly. And thus begins the best damn Sherlock Holmes adaptation evah. Suck it, Robert and Jude! You too, Rathbone, you hack.  Continue reading