Goodbye to everything that I knew.
In Martin Scorsese’s 2006 film The Departed, the theme of blurred identities is explored as a young police officer goes undercover to infiltrate the mafia, while a mafia informant goes undercover to infiltrate the police force. There have been lots of identities blurred in this season of The Vampire Diaries, and there will be plenty more blurring by the time the final episode ends. But enough about my crying, let’s get to the recap. Continue reading
To err is human, to forgive, vampire.
Oh, Stefan. Klaus still loves you. So much! Even after all the abuse he put you through, and all the times he threatened to kill you and your loved ones, anyone can see that he just wants you to be happy. He’s giving you permission to work out your feelings for Damon! He’s being so magnanimous! Hasn’t he suffered long enough? You really should take him back.
Can you say “irony,” Stefan? Continue reading
And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
And so we enter the final arc of the season. Only three episodes left, and in this one, there’s a lot of body-jacking going on. Sadly that’s not nearly as dirty as it sounds. Continue reading
The nightmare of Elena's choice, or the dream of mine? Maybe both.
What darkness lies in the hearts of humans, vampires, and dopplegangers? Everyone takes a deep dive into theirs this week. And while Delena fans may whoop with joy at the riches they find buried in the dark, fans of Stefan/Elena can be heard all over the internet moaning, “The horror! The horror!” Continue reading
Faithful readers of Hey, Don’t Judge Me will be familiar with our awesome chief editor–actress, writer, and recapper extraordinaire, Laura Stone. Laura co-starred in a little comedy horror movie a few years back called Blood on the Highway, which killed at film festivals across the U.S. Well, the latest episode of The Vampire Diaries opens with a rock montage of Damon, Stefan, and Alaric carving stakes from the white oak tree—and with me laughing my ass off, because it looks and sounds an awful lot like this:
Those are Laura’s fake fingernails carving that stake. And apparently her technique is better than Damon’s, because Stefan tells him, “We finally have a stake that can kill an Original. I’m not gonna miss because you can’t whittle.” Continue reading
Stefan breaks through a bathroom door only to find Jim Morrison dead in the tub.
“You know the day destroys the night; night divides the day.” The title of this episode makes me think of that song by The Doors, which then makes me think about Krusty the Klown singing it on his anniversary special. “What was I on?” Krusty ponders, and I bet it wasn’t blood. Continue reading
Posted in Television
Tagged Krusty the Klown, magic-protecto ring, Nina Dobrev, Paul Wesley, Psycho Killer, Rosi Golan, supernatural drama, Talking Heads, The Doors, Vampire Diaries, vampires
Watch out, Stefan, Damon has a crow hidden under that hat.
Hooray, it’s the return of the vampires! Let us all celebrate with the dance of Endus Hiatus. When last we left our heroes, I finished my recap with the rhetorical question, “How many times must a man fall dead, before they call him a man?” I guess my question should have been, “How many times must a man fall dead, before they call him a crazy man?” It looks like Alaric is about to find out. Continue reading
Just a couple of psychotic brats, doing what brats do.
Sometimes it feels like Elena is the Mom of Mystic Falls, doesn’t it? She’s the one who takes responsibility for everything, feels guilty for everything, does questionable things to protect everyone she loves and makes decisions on behalf of everybody else – often without telling them (see: Jeremy. Compulsion. Twice.). But, you know, when everybody around you is an evil psychotic brat? What else are you gonna do, besides take them out and spank them? Which is pretty much how this episode begins. Continue reading
Watch out, Caroline, that horse is really a magicked mouse. Bippity boppity boo!
We all know the story of Cinderella, who must flee the ball before her dress turns to rags and her coach turns into a pumpkin. In this version of the story, Damon plays the ragged wretch who reverts back to his old self before the clock chimes midnight. And I, for one, welcome the return of the psychopathic woobie – glass slippers bottles and all. Continue reading
This looks like the beginning of a love story.
This week, Klaus and Elijah ask Stefan and Damon out on a double-date, and try to romance them with wine and food and a roaring fire. We all know that Klaus has been crushing on Stefan since the 1920s, but I think Elijah is starting to show a definite interest in Damon. And who wouldn’t, with the way he flirts with absolutely everyone? If the show continues to give us this much pretty in every episode, I may never get off my couch. Continue reading