WHO. WILL. WIN. Will it be the handsome less-than-stellar singer with the inspirational backstory? The teddy-bear single father with amazing pipes and something to prove? Or the girl with the golden voice who has never felt like she’s belonged anywhere?
Let’s find out. Continue reading
Yoo hoo! Bruce Willis!
We’re down to the nail-biting final performances, and Nicole honours the night by dressing up as one of the flight attendants from The Fifth Element. Continue reading
This Results Show is the first time the audience votes count without any interference from the judges. And you know what THAT means. That’s right, we’re going to have to find different reasons to hate Nicole. ::starts a list:: Continue reading
Tonight’s the Pepsi U-Pick-Em challenge, where the voting public gets to choose the first song the contestants sing tonight. Do normal Americans know more about song choice than famous judges? Short answer: No. Nobody knows anything about anything. Which does wonders for my self-esteem, actually. Continue reading
I do not hate this show. I do not hate this show. I do not hate this show. Continue reading
We start this week with a peek back at last week’s drama, narrated by the announcer guy who sounds just the announcer guy from Super Smash Brothers. Failure! Simon swears that if it’s a war Nicole and Paula want, it’s a war they’ll get (as Simon’s eye gets bigger and bigger until it fills the cosmos). Because nothing about this show is faked and planned out to increase the tension and angst to boost ratings! Honest! Continue reading
We’re down to the Top 7, so all the riff-raff must finally be gone and we’re going to get some amazing performances here on Michael Jackson week, right? Right?? Oh, just let me dream. Continue reading
Did you see that coming? I did not see that coming. Aren’t you glad you didn’t bet the rent money now? Continue reading
Tonight on X Factor USA: Miserypalooza, wherein all our contestants compete to see who has the most tragic backstory, and thus are most qualified to be grateful to Simon Cowell, who singlehandedly pulled them from their miserable existence to sing on this show. Let the tearful confessions begin! Continue reading