Tag Archives: Sookie Stackhouse

True Blood 5.12 – Save Yourself

True Blood airs Sundays at 9PM on HBO

PREVIOUSLY: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! True Blood, it is just like you to go full-hog awesome in the last twenty minutes of the last episode of the season.

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True Blood 5.11 – Sunset

True Blood airs Sundays at 9PM on HBO

PREVIOUSLY: Penultimate episode! Shit is getting realer by the minute!

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True Blood 5.10 – Turn Turn Turn

True Blood airs Sundays at 9PM on HBO

PREVIOUSLY: We were finally introduced to the only way to make it through this show: Oxycontin ground up and put in ginger ale. Also, two or three of the storylines were wrapped up via firearm, and ideally two or three others will be, too.

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True Blood 5.9: Everybody Wants to Rule the World

True Blood airs Sundays at 9PM on HBO
PREVIOUSLY: Show is still bugnuts, previously doesn’t even matter, so LET’S TALK ABOUT THE CURIOSITY LANDING! Who watched the live feed? I was crying and trying to high-five all of the shouting NASA engineers through my computer and my excitement on Twitter made an inspirational Christian quote bot follow me.

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True Blood Episode 5.07: In The Beginning

True Blood airs Sundays at 9PM on HBO
PREVIOUSLY: Laura took over while I was in South Florida fulfilling my contractual obligations as a swamp thing, and from what I gather, the world was deprived of Meloni’s insane booty in a cruel and capricious act of violence perpetrated by Russell Edgington. Nothing else matters. I am despondent. Let us begin.

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True Blood 5.6 – Hopeless

Cockblocked by a freakin’ quilt. COME ON, TRUE BLOOD.

Our normal TB recapper Sam is out leg-wrassling gators in the Everglades this week, so I’m stepping in for this week’s episode. PREVIOUSLY ON TB: Creepy psych ward of horrors! (Any Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace fans out there?) Crap no one cared about! (I’m looking at you, Sam!) Tara got her bite on! And the most glorious and proper vampire ever, Russell Edgington made an appearance. And now for the weather.  Tiffany? [Greatest vampire moment in TB history, that was.] Continue reading

True Blood 5.05: Let’s Boot and Rally

True Blood airs Sundays at 9PM on HBO
PREVIOUSLY: I missed the PREVIOUSLY so I‘ll make up my own. Everybody turned into bunnies and we all learned a valuable lesson about friendship and hiding when there are falcons nearby.

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True Blood 5.04: We’ll Meet Again

True Blood airs Sundays at 9PM on HBO
PREVIOUSLY: RUSSELL EDGINGTON BLAH TARAMPIRE BLAH LAFAYETTE’S A DEMON BLAH PAM BACKSTORY BLAH TERRY BELLEFLEUR AND PATRICK ROADTRIP BLAH JESSICA AND JASON BFFS BLAH SAM HAD A PLOTLINE LAST SEASON BLAH NORA’S A SANGUINISTA BLAH DEBBIE PELT’S PARENTS BLAH SOOKIE CONFESSED TO ALCIDE ETC.

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True Blood 5.03: Whatever I Am, You Made Me

True Blood airs Sundays at 9PM on HBO
PREVIOUSLY: Sookie and Lafayette broke Tara and got real sad about it, Terry’s going on a roadtrip with Patrick, Alcide isn’t going to be the new packmaster, Sam and Luna broke up before Luna’s weird kid turns into a wolf puppy in pajamas, Pam flashbacked, VAMPYRE BYBLE, Tara ran away, CHRIS MELONI, and Chris Meloni agreed to let Eric and Bill hunt down Russell Edgington in exchange for their lives.

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True Blood 4.12 – “And When I Die”

Jesus serves up eggs and sympathy to ‘Lafayette’ and tells his unusually sass-free boyfriend that he understands he may have pulled Lafayette into the whole magical craziness before he was ready, and that if Lafayette wants to live a magic-free life, Jesus is open to that. Apparently uncertain whether a “Hookah, please!” would be apropos at this juncture, Marnie stays silent, but she did put on a stunning silk wrapper I’m sure Lafayette would have approved. Jesus leans in to kiss Lafayette goodbye, and as his lips brush ‘Lafayette’s’ cheek, he feels a disturbance in his juju and pulls back with an uncertain, “Lafayette?” Before Jesus can question further, Marnie stabs him the hand with a fork, the tines still dripping egg yolk! Oh, that’s just ptomaine waiting to happen, y’all.

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