Saving the Doctor? Clara’s ready to do it All the Time!
After multiple episodes of watching the Doctor fruitlessly shake his tiny fist at the why-are-there-multiples-of-her mystery that is Clara “Oswin” Oswald, the seventh season finale of Doctor Who at last takes on the big question: the hell is up with Clara?
Cue “Gallifrey, a very long time ago,” where Clara pops up to tell the First Doctor, just before he steals the TARDIS (and if that isn’t inserting Clara into the seminal moment, well, I don’t know what is), “Sorry, but you’re about to make a very big mistake.” Sassy, starting to tell the Doctor what’s what on Day One! Also, who, where, what, how? Continue reading
Posted in Television
Tagged BBC, Clara, Clara Oswald, Doctor Who, Eleven, Eleventh Doctor, River Song, TARDIS, The Great Intelligence, The Maitlands, The Paternoster Gang, The Whispermen
A game of chess to determine the fate of the universe? YOUR MOVE, SEXY SCHIZOPHRENIC DOCTOR!
The Doctor, Clara, and Angie and Maitland peek credits-in-a-sitcom style around the door of the TARDIS (I did the hand-claps from Friends). They’re on the moon! Well, it’s not the moon, but a “spacey zuma ride” and a Golden Ticket to what used to be the biggest and best amusement park in the universe. Yay, how fun…that would have been. Too bad it’s in total ruins and about to give rise to a hostile force trying to destroy the universe! My stars, if that just isn’t a day out with the Doctor all over! Continue reading
Posted in Television
Tagged BBC, Clara, Clara Oswald, Cybermen, Doctor Who, Eleven, Eleventh Doctor, Neil Gaiman, Nightmare in Silver, TARDIS, The Maitlands
Olde-time-y Clara and the Doctor are hot enough for Sweetville
Welcome to Yorkshire, 1893, where the Industrial Revolution gets once again taken to task not for its despicable child labor and treacherous workplace conditions, but for acting as a front for creepy alien activity. A serious young man tells his wife he has to go and investigate this “dark and queer business”; moments later, women surround her saying, too bad about that husband of yours! Oh, hey, but her husband’s absolutely fine, thanks — CUE HORRIFIC SCREAMING! Continue reading
Posted in Television
Tagged BBC, Clara, Clara Oswald, Doctor Who, Eleven, Eleventh Doctor, Jenny Flint, Madam Vastra, Mister Sweet, Mrs Gillyflower, Strax, sweetville, TARDIS
One more TARDIS console room…One more Time Zombie…ONE! DAY! MORE!
Three guys aboard a dumpster/skip of a spaceship wake up to hear their devices have pinpointed some sexy, sexy salvage. One of them’s an android who feels machine-pain because he is a machine (full of pain! wait, that doesn’t sound like a machine…), and the other two are jerky to him. I’m reservedly squeeful that we have three actors of color in these prominent episode roles!
Meanwhile, Clara and the Doctor bicker about the TARDIS. “It’s not a cheese grater,” he scoffs when she calls it an “appliance”; she’s exasperated he acts like a guy who can’t date someone unless his mother approves. The solution? Take down the shields so Clara can take the TARDIS for a spin! Whoops, taking down the shields makes them fly right into the salvagers’ magnetic field. Lesson: never let your girlfriend drive your mom. Continue reading
The Doctor, Captain Jack Harkness, and Martha Jones find the dying universe the perfect setting for a threesome.
The Doctor and Martha fuel-up rift-side in Cardiff. Last visit, he was “a different man” (oh, Nine!). Say, who’s that sexy beast of a man, sprinting and yelling “Doctor!”? HI, CAPTAIN JACK! In an epic blow-off, the Doctor starts the TARDIS, miscalculating how far Jack will go to avoid his shady brush-off. I’m talking end of the universe far! Continue reading
Don’t blink. EVER AGAIN! *buys you all eyeball paste*
Late at night, a woman breaks into an abandoned mansion to photograph it. Then she leaves for home and a nice hot cup of chamomile, musing on decay and the sublime. Ahaha, NO. Eerie silence + Gothic setting = BEWARE THE WEEPING ANGELS written under peeling wallpaper! It spells trouble with a capital “T”! By which I mean a warning from Ten (though River City’s pool table, still a cause for grave concern). Continue reading
It’s the Doctor in a watch! The Doctor in a watch, girl!
What do you do if you’re held at gunpoint, knowing the man you love must choose to save either you or the woman he loves? Well, if you’re Martha Jones, you turn ALL THE TABLES, snatch one villain’s gun to aim it at another baddie, and let the woman who’s a jerkwad to you run to the man you love. Also? You save EVERYONE. Martha Jones, ladies and gentlemen! *applauds wildly* Continue reading
You’re not going to believe this, but I just had this very bizarre dream, and you were in it!
The Doctor and Martha narrowly escape villains chasing them with stolen Time Agent technology. “They’re never going to stop,” following him. “Unless…” “Do you trust me?” the Doctor asks Martha urgently, adding, “Because it all depends on you.” PRESSURE MUCH? There’s this watch, see, and —
The Doctor wakes in an old-fashioned bedroom. Martha enters in maid’s garb (what?). She apologizes for entering precipitously, calling him John Smith (what what?). No worries: he’s just had another extraordinary dream, in which he’s the “daredevil” “madman”, the Doctor. This time, in 2007, Martha was his companion. What d’ye talk, Martha scoffs: it’s 1913, and he’s as human as they come (what what WHAT?)!
TARDIS frequent flier membership has its privileges!
Doctor, I love you! But we only have fourteen minutes to save the Earth! Well, forty-two minutes, actually. Hence the title. And we’re not saving the Earth so much as a cargo ship and its sweaty cranky crew members from crashing into a sun. STILL! Continue reading
The Doctor and Martha make it a family affair.
The Doctor makes a perfect landing in a tight spot. “You should be used to tight spots by now,” says Martha and oh. Oh ho! Sure, Doctor Who‘s totally a children’s show. Right. Wait, they’re back twelve hours after she left. “But all the stuff we’ve done! Shakespeare, New New York, old New York?” Martha asks. That, my friends, is without a doubt the most jam-packed one-night stand of which I’ve heard tell!
And no, I’m not going to stop with the wink-nudge jokes, because there THESE WRITE THEMSELVES with material the ep hands over on a sexy, saucy platter! Just watch! Continue reading