Tag Archives: Top Chef: Texas

Top Chef: Texas 9.5 Dallas Dinner Party

It’s the end of the chili competition where everyone’s been up for 30 hours straight, and Padma comes over to tell them they’re all going to slaughter their own pigs and smoke them in trashcans. No, she just tells them to go home, get a good night’s sleep, because tomorrow they’re road tripping up to Dallas, a short, 7 hour drive. Yay? (Definitely yay, Dallas is awesome.)  Continue reading

Top Chef Texas 9.4 – Chili Cook-Off

Guys, thanks for letting me have Thanksgiving to feed my family. Mostly I needed the brain vacation to recover from the LIES in this episode, and the LIE for those that aren’t immediately nodding your head, is that they had a “chili cook-off.” Brisket in broth is not chili. Never was, never will be. I almost wanted to frog march those Yankees out of my state.  Continue reading

Top Chef 9.3 – The Actual Competition Begins

Less stock footage of cowboys on steers punching cows with their hammy fists means they’re going to tone down the whole “git along, little doggie” stuff. Oh, except for the rattlesnakes. Yee-haw!

Look, I love Texas. I’m Texan. I’m so Texan I piss excellence, and it has the piquant odor of chipotle. But they keep doing these stereotypes, and I’m going to tease them every single time. I will say, though, that the quick cut to a sign at a roadside stand announcing “2 bean & cheese tacos of 99¢” made my mouth water because YOU KNOW THOSE WOULD BE THE BEST DAMN BEAN AND CHEESE TACOS EVER. Even the tamales at the gas station in that part of town are muy delicioso, gente, I’m serious. Continue reading

Top Chef: Texas 9.2 – The Final 16

I imagine there are a lot of back problems in the professional cooking world. Also, I bet this is why we end up with hair in our food.

Last week we met way too many people, fortunately sent five packing, leaving up with 10 assured with a place in the competition, and four left “in the bubble” to cook again. But there is another group of 10 chefs waiting for their Blue Coat and a little validation that they were smart to dropout of law school to play with their food.  Continue reading

Top Chef: Texas 9.1

The scavenger hunt for a red bike begins in three...two...

I love Top Chef. Love. In my list of “Five” (don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about) the Voltaggio Brothers rank at #4. Both of them. And I love food. I’m eating foie gras and wasabi spiked chocolate right now. (No, I’m not.) So when they announced TC was coming to Texas? Super excited. Then I read they were going to feature the important cities. Even better!  San Antonio, Austin, and Dallas…and they skipped Houston.

The hell? Continue reading