Okay, okay, I know last season I just checked out on y’all, but I’m back and hopefully both the show and myself have spanked our inner season 9 moppets and are ready to move on. And after a very informative, if arguably oddly soundtracked, “Road So Far” (great song, but just because it has the words “soul” and “sinner” in it doesn’t make it apropos) we’re ready to hit the ground. Continue reading
So maybe you’re wondering, “now, why don’t she call?”
There’s the thing. Supernatural is my Show. Capital “S”. Lately, however, I find myself very uninspired by it. The show is dragging me down as a viewer, which makes it difficult to come here and “rewrite” it with humor. This isn’t TWOP (R.I.P.) and tearing the show apart isn’t what I personally want to do. 9.15-9.18 just haven’t done it for me so I’m taking a break. I have high hopes for 9.19 based on the writer and the premise, but we’ll see. I’ll be back no later than 9.21, that I promise.
Thank you all so much for reading and for understanding.
You probably noticed that there’s an episode missing between this recap and the previous one. Or maybe you didn’t. The point is, no, nothing happened. My internet didn’t go down, I didn’t have to rush my nonexistent goldfish to the vet. Nothing. What happened was, I just didn’t care enough about 9.15 #THINMAN to bother. And that’s a shame, because hello! Ghostfacers! Alas, not enough. In fact I really didn’t even pay attention to it, however I remember feeling a bit concussed after having all those supersized anvils fall on my head. When you’re 12% paying attention and 88% alternately playing Cookie Jam and Covet on your phone, but the anvils still get’cha? The episode has a problem.
Let us never speak of it again.
So, in all honesty, I had low expectations for this episode, so color me delightfully surprised to be completely sucked right back in.
In this episode opening we learn that Dean lies on his bed listening to angsty classic rock through headphones like a teenager, Sam does… something in his own room, who even knows what, and that the bunker is haunted. Full-on flickering lights, EVP, spinny furniture haunted. We also learn that Sam somehow thinks a sword will protect him. I’m pretty sure it’s not made of iron. Thankfully Dean has rock salt shells at the ready for just this kind of predicament. Continue reading
Stillwater, Minnesota. “Stand By Me” level eating contest, but with $0.50 hotdogs. Big boy versus the thin man. You’d think they’d be setting it up for the scrawny kid to win; nope, tubby takes the trophy, but not without accusations of cheating. Later in his car, Chubs removes the hidden hotdog from his pocket and chuckles smugly, right before something shanks him in the back and sucks him into a mummy.
In the bunker, Dean looks done. He hasn’t slept; his breakfast is whiskey and Cornflakes with a cold pizza chaser and he sounds like he gargled a Batarang. He’s been up all night researching, full on Google vortex style, if he’s found anything new about anything we’re all really worried about he’s not telling, but he has found the Stillwater case and Sam is down to investigate with him. Dean gruffly gets up and says he’s just gonna scrub down with some Wet Wipes and be ready to go. Sam stops him, concern seemingly creasing his brow. He asks Dean if he’s okay, if maybe what he said a few days ago (remember? The whole “if you wanna be brothers *ELLIPSES OF HEART RENDING HORRIBLENESS*”), but Dean mocks him; as if his brother breaking up with him is anything new or worth internalizing and agonizing about. Get over yourself, Sam.
For the record, Sam seems like this isn’t bothering Dean enough for his liking. For the other record, I don’t believe Dean at all. I mean, he’s still rocking the face fur, so clearly he’s still too bummed to shave. Continue reading
Grantsburg, Wisconsin. This week’s episode opens up on a farm in the middle of the night. According to the closed captioning what we’re hearing is snarling, howling, the dulcet sounds of flesh rending and cows mooing. Apparently there wasn’t enough cowbell to make the closed captioning cut.
Seeing as it’s the dead of night, the owner of the farm is none too pleased with the disruption and comes out blazing. The figure that abandons his prime offal is scrawnier than the sounds indicated he’d be. He takes off running, jumping fences, dodging trees, just trying to get away, contemplating nothing but escape and finally making it… until the he runs into the road and high-fives a car.
Oh look, it’s Garth. Continue reading
When last we left the Winchesters they were having their yearly breakup. Dean drove off in the Impala while Sam and Castiel bounced to the bunker listening to the dulcet sounds of N.W.A.
Jasper Springs, Mississippi, Civil War era. Soldiers scramble to protect a knight in a cabin. A knight? This is America, not Medieval England. Anyway, no sooner have the soldiers flanked the door than a man saunters in with a fancy knife and burns the apparently demon soldiers back to Hell. Interesting dude. Continue reading
It’s been awhile, huh?
Last we left everyone, Gadreel had auditioned for the role of “Sam Winchester” and nailed it, burn out Kevin’s light and bailed on Dean. We’ve suffered for months, but for Dean it’s only been about an hour. Continue reading
When I tell you that I am writing this recap while eating my feelings I want you to understand that it’s not hyperbole. I will be taking breaks between paragraphs to shovel green chile mac ‘n’ cheese, corn pudding and a pile of pumpkin pie mixed with pecan pie into my face. I feel like after watching this episode I’ve earned this mass of carb-laden calories.
And so we begin. Continue reading
Hartford, South Dakota. A young waitress locks up at work and leaves a homeless man, Slim, a styrofoam container of leftover food. Then proceeded to walk to her car, in the dark with out her keys at the ready. Female safety 101, dearie. She’s frightened; she trips and stumbles her way to shelter underneath her vehicle. Of course, whatever is stalking her easily lifts it right up, engulfs her in blue light and then drops her off into a sewer hidey-hole. Continue reading